2020 Baby Domme Guide: Uniform Essentials

So, you want to be and/or look like a dominatrix. Being a dominatrix is a lifestyle and in many cases, an identity. What the outside world sees is the glamourous imagery of dark, seductive women wearing expensive leather, latex and lingerie, with subs crawling behind them on leashes like designer dogs.

What they don’t see, is the practicality and purpose that goes into choosing what is worn for each individual occasion. I’ve never wished I chose my outfit more carefully than when a client chundered up a stomach full of piss and vomit onto my crotch. He was simply trying to impress me with his deepthroating skills, but his gag reflex got in the way of his glory. Alas, it’s hard to contain a slut when they get excited and unfortunately what I was wearing was pretty absorbent.

You know all the clichés (which are generally all true) but unless you’ve been lifestyle or in the industry for a while, you probably don’t know where to shop and what pieces to prioritize. The best starter kits are ones in which a lot of mixing and matching can occur. Bang for your buck if you will. Many women who enter the adult industry don’t end up staying in it for long. So while you are dipping your toes in and testing the waters, there’s no point in spending a fortune.

I’m going to be suggesting the BASICS in this post - basically black black black black black. However, if you have a strong sense of individual style that really stands out from the crowd, by all means, take these suggestions with a grain of salt and get whatever colors you want. Your clothing choices are as much about BRANDING as it is about PRACTICALITY. As a pro-domme, your outward facing image and the way you market yourself is going to be a major factor in how you hook your clients. Individuality is important and can be a huge selling factor. However, consistency is important. If you don’t have a strong sense of what guides your fashion choices when it comes to BDSM, play it safe while you are figuring it out. Definitely experiment and take inspiration from others, but aim to march to the beat of your own drum.

Mistress Veronica Vixen aka DumpsterBaby is an example of a domme whose quirky style has defined her career.@mistressveronicavixenVy — Mistress Veronica Vixen aka DumpsterBaby is an example of a domme whose quirky style has defined her career.
@mistressveronicavixenVy

Mistress Adrienne, who sadly passed away in 2019, was a leather fashion ICON. Her love of leather garnered her over a hundred thousand followers on the gram.@mistressadriennenyc — Mistress Adrienne, who sadly passed away in 2019, was a leather fashion ICON. Her love of leather garnered her over a hundred thousand followers on the gram.
@mistressadriennenyc

Vinyl Queen literally named herself after her favorite material. She has been a pro since 1997.@Vinylqueensf — Vinyl Queen literally named herself after her favorite material. She has been a pro since 1997.
@Vinylqueensf

Ariana Chevelier specializes in heavy rubber (wearing it, dressing others in it etc), and runs NYC’s largest independently run dungeon “Rubber Studio”.@nyc_rubber_studio — Ariana Chevelier specializes in heavy rubber (wearing it, dressing others in it etc), and runs NYC’s largest independently run dungeon “Rubber Studio”.
@nyc_rubber_studio

Tips

LAYERING: Accessories
It’s all about layering. You can buy full looks, but that’s when it gets expensive. Collections are pieced together over time, and while you are still building your collection, you’ll be able to create whole new looks just by switching around accessories. I will be sure to point out which are worth splurging on.
Material maintenance, longevity, and preference.
While it is important to have all options in your kit (at least one outfit for each as a newbie), you may find that you gravitate towards a material. Dommes have defined their whole careers on their material preference (see above). If you already have a preference, then build upon it. I will explain the strengths and weaknesses of each one.
1. LATEX
  1. Negatives: I’m just gonna say it. Latex can be a bitch. She’ll drain your wallet, require your undivided attention (for cleaning), can take an hour to get into, and probably won’t stick around for more than 10 years. She’s delicate and addictive.
  2. Positives: Though delicate, non-porous materials make great barriers. It’s like a second skin, protecting you from (potentially unwanted) contact and fluids. There are also quite a few latex subs out there. It’s a very powerful look and feel.
2. LEATHER
  1. Positives: Leather is hearty and reliable. The smell is comforting and you know if you clean/ condition/ resole, the piece you invested in will be wearable for a long time to come.
  2. Negatives: Not often water or fluid resistant. Besides the fact that it can be aesthetically ruined, it’s porous skin is not easy to sanitize if you get body fluids on it.
  3. Real patent leather is easier to clean + shine but is usually expensive AF. If not taken care of, scuffs will be hard to get rid of.
3. LINGERIE/ STOCKINGS
  1. Positives: Lingerie can be comfortable, is light to carry around and easy to get into. You can buy cheap lingerie and most people can’t tell the difference. I am a huge fan of bodysuits as they are super easy to layer accessories over.
  2. Negatives: If you want unique pieces, it gets pricey. Lingerie can wear down quickly with repeated use and washing. It also doesn’t create much of a boundary between you and your client. It can make for a very intimate (sometimes too intimate) facesitting scene, or a bit of a soggy strap-on experience. Ew.
4. PVC / VINYL / FAUX LEATHER
  1. Positives: PVC and fake leather are great for your bank account and fairly easy to clean. Faux leather boots are easy to wipe down + sanitize in between worship sessions.
  2. Negatives: They often don’t last. Some brands do offer quality fake leather pieces, but it can get pricey. I generally don’t touch vinyl because it’s kind of trying to mimic latex/leather (not well), but it’s also got its own thing going. I’m confused by it, but it’s totally up to personal preference.
  TIPS: DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT layer leather accessories over latex (especially light latex) for extended periods of time. I learned this the hard way when I stained a baby pink latex dress by layering an unfinished black leather harness on top of it. No Bueno. You CAN layer:
  1. Lingerie + Latex
  2. Latex + PVC
  3. Lingerie + Leather
  4. Leather + Lingerie.

Shopping Guide

Budget ranges: $500 - $1000

Lingerie Bodysuit
Stockings + Garter
Latex Bodysuit or Two Piece
Pencil Skirt
2 Piece Harness Set
Heeled Boots
Classic Stilettos
Lingerie Bodysuits
Start with one or two, but truly you can never have too many. I have bodysuits in multiple fabrics and colors.

Amazon15.99Easy, sexy and replaceable. — Amazon
15.99
Easy, sexy and replaceable.

Forever2119.99Simple & elegant. — Forever21
19.99
Simple & elegant.

God Save Queens$140 / On sale for $125While this photographs beautifully, it’s quite revealing and seems delicate. — God Save Queens
$140 / On sale for $125
While this photographs beautifully, it’s quite revealing and seems delicate.

Stockings & Garters

When it comes to stockings, buy cheap and buy in bulk. Holes in stockings are not a good look. Clean is classy, so if they are ripped, throw them out. You will need thigh high stockings, and regular sheer nylons. Fishnets are fun to have as well! Garters are not strictly necessary if you buy “stay up” thigh high stockings, but here are a few options anyway.