Anal Preparation: Beginner to Expert

Exploring new experiences is human nature. Finding out that those experiences are worth pursuing—that’s the adventure. In our discovery, sometimes the pleasures we seek require a bit of work to make it worthwhile. After all, you wouldn’t go rock climbing without ropes, shoes, and chalk, so what makes anal any different?

Anal Novices:

So, you’re curious… You want someone to explore you (or explore yourself) in an entirely new way. Then let's talk about where you should start:

1. Lubricant - Water-based lube, while an invaluable part of vaginal sex, is practically useless when it comes to anal penetration. It’s sticky, and it absorbs quickly into the skin, meaning constant reapplication. Silicone lubricant is your best bet. My suggestions are Swiss Navy and Gun Oil (the brand, please don’t use actual gun lubricant on any part of the body). Clip a fingernail, or two, and take yourself to a new high.

2. Cleaning -  There are quick douching kits in every corner drug store. They’re normally in a two or four pack and sell for about $2 - $6. They can be reused with a quick fill of lukewarm water, but the applicators aren’t meant for continuous use. You also don’t want to use a douche more than one session every three days, as this can affect the mucosal lining of the rectum—meaning it will tear more easily. Aim to try once a week until you build up some resistance to the cleaning process.

3. Toys - You may have heard: no silicone on silicone, i.e. no silicone lube on silicone toys. This is not a hard and fast rule, and generally it’s ok if you’re buying high quality silicone products. Sadly, because there is no governing body that tests sex toys in the US or abroad, the use of silicone toys is up to your discretion or your body. Silicone lube often causes toys of a similar material to expand, regardless of quality, which can affect your experience while using the toy. My suggestion is tempered glass, crystal, coated plastic, or metal toys. Regardless of material, ALWAYS use a toy with a base for anal play. The sphincter closest to your asshole is specifically designed to keep things inside of your body, and you don’t want that trip to the ER.

Anal Intermediaries:

You knew everything above? You cheeky sub you. Then let’s explore a little more about what the realities are of bringing anal into everyday play.

1. Your Digestive System and You - If you’ve been doing this for a while, and you want to know how to stay prepared: eat your vegetables. That’s an order. Vegetables are full of fibers that act as a prebiotic, helping develop the microflora in your gut. Imagine you have a garden growing in your gut; the vegetables you eat act like the soil that’s going to help your garden grow. With prolonged maintenance, your GI garden will flourish, making sure you have a healthy colon, and therefore less mess to clean. Then, there are probiotics, which you can get in small amounts in yogurt, but the suggested intake is through fermented vegetables like kimchi, sauerkraut, and homemade fermented foods. 

2. Prebiotic and Probiotic Pills - Unless instructed by a doctor, you do not need to take these with a varied diet. Sadly, probiotic pills are not regulated by the FDA, because they are a supplement, so I don’t suggest wasting your money on them. The fiber powder Metamucil will not kill you if you have to get ready for a session in two days. But, as I said before, stick with the vegetables.

3. Bidets - If we’re talking about quick action, a bidet add on to your toilet is a *must*. Toilet paper doesn’t really do a phenomenal job of cleaning anything. You don’t wipe your counters with a dry paper towel, do you? Then you understand why a bidet or wet wipes are a better option. Sadly, wet wipes can destroy some plumbing, especially in older houses. Bidets range from $40 to $3000, so there’s definitely one in everyones price range.

4. Dilating - So, you’ve had your finger up your ass for a month and really want to work up the sizing? You want your ass to be dominated? You’ve got some work to do. Firstly, you’ll want to find a material that works for you (as aforementioned, silicone, plastic, metal, glass, or crystal) and a dilation kit. These are available all over the web (though my suggestions are listed below). The fastest way to prepare yourself for anal play is to walk around with one of these inserted under a snug pair of underwear. There are beaded and plug versions of these, as well as remote controlled versions that your partner can control for extra fun during dates or the work day. Start small, and try to aim for an hour at a time. Take a stroll through your local park. Who’s gonna know?

5. Dirty Bed Sheets - If you’ve made it this far, I can hopefully assume that you’re taking all of the above steps. First off, you’ll want to lay a towel down until you understand how well your body works at cleaning itself out. Secondly, white bed sheets are not your friend. Go for something a little darker. Third, you’ll want a mattress topper. This stops any bodily fluids or lube from getting to your mattress. But how do you get all of that lube off of your bedsheets? Most detergents will get out small amounts of lube, but for big spills or bigger sessions, lube will be everywhere. Baking soda does a great job of pulling out excess lube from cotton and silk, and a good degreaser spray should make quick work of anything the baking soda can’t get out.

6. Enema Bags - Enema bags are exactly what they sound like: bags that hold water for you to give yourself an enema. The difference between a douche and an enema? A douche will clean out the rectum, or the part of the digestive tract closest to your hole. An enema, however, will flush out a good portion of your small intestine, meaning there’s very little chance of anything accidentally coming through during play. You will want to start an enema an hour before play, as it tends to take a bit of time before the water works through your whole system. Fill the bag with water, and hop into your tub/shower. Hang the hook on your shower head. On your back, or on all fours, insert the end of the tube and the bag will empty into you, using gravity to help it along. Some people need immediate relief, so quick access to a toilet is often a necessity, others may take up to 30 minutes to relieve themselves. You can do this up to three times, or until the water runs clean. Just like douching, you don’t want to do this too often, as the intestinal lining is sensitive.

Enema Bag

Extreme Anal Play:

From male-on-male/female-on-male play, to strap-ons, and fisting, this is your info section. 

1. PrEP - As previously discussed, the mucosal lining of the rectum is extremely delicate. Blood is likely going to be a reality in some fist play, even if it’s not your intention. PrEP is a once a day pill (Truvada for those assigned female at birth and Descovy for those assigned male at birth) that prevents you from getting HIV. HIV can be passed through any bodily fluid to any other bodily fluid (with the exception of saliva, tears, and earwax). PrEP is 99.99% effective. HIV is transmissible through any form of sex, but is most common through anal penetration. If someone you play with is HIV+ and undetectable, it is untransmittable. Ask your doctor for more information.

2. Get on Top - If you are using a phallic device (real or otherwise), the best way of getting your body to relax is to squat down. Your rectum is made to elongate when you are in a squatting position, known as the “S” to “J” curve transition. The same reason the squatty potty is super popular is the same reason that reverse cowgirl is the third most widely popularized sex position. Doggy style is the least conducive to the “J” shape in your rectum, and should be avoided for first timers, regardless of how absolutely hot it may be.

3. Poppers - No, they don’t kill brain cells. There are other issues regarding overuse of the substance, but generally, amyl nitrates are safe for brief periods of use. Amyl Nitrate was originally used as a blood vessel dilator in WWII. Vasodilators essentially relax your entire body, including the sphincters. Some people report headaches and skin irritation around the nose or mouth. You should never use poppers if you have known heart conditions or lung issues. Use Poppers under supervision (never alone), at your own discretion, and never leave a bottle of Amyl Nitrate open in a confined space. If you spill it, open a window and exit the room, it will evaporate over the course of a few hours.

4. Fisting - Only commit to fisting if you’re confident that you are ready. There’s not really such a thing as “accidental fisting”. Plan, plan some more, and go slow. Fisting works best with a partner or Domme you trust. They need to be just as physically and emotionally prepared as you are. Start slowly, with your hole and their/your hand lubed. You think it’s enough lube? Add more lube. Nails should be clipped and filed with a polish grade nail file, or you’ll want a tight rubber/latex/Nitrile/PVC glove. Add one finger at a time, and over the course of about five to ten minutes, you/r partner can work your/their way deeper. Pause whenever you add more girth, as this allows the body time to adjust to the new sizing. The best description of the hand shape I can think of is the “Italian person talking with their hands.” An actual fist should be reserved for more experienced anal play. Once their hand is fully inside of you, congratulations. You’re a sub with a new skill set. Now get on your knees and ask nicely for it.

Cowritten by Mistress Neena De Ville and David James McDonald